by Beth Dreher
On the website of the Christian conservative group Family Research Council, Timothy J. Dailey, Ph.D, writes, "A growing body of research indicates that in key respects homosexual and lesbian relationships are radically different than married couples."
Turns out, Dailey's right: According to studies from the University of Washington, the Rockway Institute and several other reputable research centers, gay and lesbian relationships are different. In some ways, they're actually better. In one study published in the Journal of Homosexuality, for example, researchers observed 40 gay couples' and 40 straight couples' interactions and found a distinct difference in the way the groups approached conflict discussions.
"Heterosexual couples are more likely than same-sex couples to begin conflict discussions in a harsh or aggressive way," says Robert-Jay Green, Ph.D, a distinguished professor of psychology at Alliant International University in California and a leading expert on gay and lesbian couple/family relationships. According to Green, a harsh way to begin a conversation about family finance might be "What the hell is this credit charge for a $300 necklace? Do you think I'm made out of money?" A more sensitive start, says Green, would be, "Hey, I noticed there was a credit-card charge for a $300 necklace. I'm worried that we're spending beyond our budget, and that we're not saving enough for those other plans we have. Can we talk some more about that?"
